you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
