Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
