seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
