dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Its about making memories worth repressing
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Randomize
