It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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