Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
