Me too!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
