Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Randomize
