He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
