pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize