But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
