You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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