im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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