She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize