and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
