i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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