I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
