That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
