I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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