Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
