I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
