they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
