Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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