I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.