so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...