I just saw a hot homeless man
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to