Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
