This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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