So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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