just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
either way he was missing a nipple.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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