I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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