This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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