The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
