My pussy is not your playground.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
