I've blown a few things in my day
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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