Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
