yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
