Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
