Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize