Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
