So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
