You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
