Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize