But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
