My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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