i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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