Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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