I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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