I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize