when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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