i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax