Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
