I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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