From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
