wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize