she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
