none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
