i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
