ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
