I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
PANTIES FOUND
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
