im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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