And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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